Ollie is a rescued black and white Shih Tzu who turned his passion for helping other pets into a popular advice column. Ask Ollie questions by emailing him at Ollie@chathamcountyline.org
I am a simple four year old dog. I don’t wear cute little red boots in the snow; my leash is just plain brown leather and I don’t own a plaid wool blanket coat because my own fur is fabulous. It’s kind of short, hard to the touch and drip dry. In fact, I am entirely weather proof. I handle all kinds of knocks in a rough and tumble family and I don’t take offence at any insult. I am low maintenance as long as my dinner is served by 6 pm. In short, I am the perfect dog. This year, my breed is featured in two films that have placed very well in the box office ratings. The first is “Marley and Me” and the second one is “Grand Torino.” I am proud to be a yellow Labrador Retriever and I don’t pretend to ever understand my humans. Here I am, the perfect dog and the next thing I know, my woman-human has adopted a new puppy. My perfect self is livid. This puppy is obnoxious and will never grow up to be a perfect dog. I don’t even think it’s a Labrador or Labrador mix. I believe that it’s a blue eyed Siberian husky. What self respecting dog has blue eyes?
I am worried that my humans are suffering from heat exhaustion and that they’ve lost their minds. I don’t like this puppy at all. She’s chewing everything that doesn’t stand still. You should see her on laundry day; she scatters the dirty clothes everywhere. What can I do?
The Most Perfect Dog, Briar Chapel
Dear MOST PERFECT DOG,
All dogs start out as soft, wiggling, licking bundles of puppy joy. That goes for perfect dogs too. Puppies are adorable and affectionate (even Siberian husky pups) but they can raid every trash can in the house and take the socks right off their human’s feet.
Puppies chew everything because at about four months of age they start teething and that makes their gums sore; chewing helps the teeth break through the gums. Puppies love to run through the house weaving yards and yards of toilet paper in and out of rooms and up and down stairs. They will chase cats and get into the cat’s very private litter pan. These behaviors are fun for the puppy but not so much fun for the house humans. I know of a darling Shih Tzu puppy that ate cat stools and then threw up the entire mess in his human’s car. It was disgusting. I heard that a sleek, chocolate Labrador Retriever puppy named Karma chewed up a $500 hand carved wooden chess set and two window frames.
Then there was there was the darling, curly coated and brindle marked puppy that jumped or fell out of a car rear window. Puppies don’t come home equipped with an owner’s manual so a human must learn how to treat and train the newcomer. Remember, every dog will have to be a puppy first before it can become, in some cases, the most perfect dog like you. Relax and enjoy your new puppy friend and don’t be too concerned about the mental state of your woman-human.